Finally, it's Friday...

I feel so relieved today, why not? I am already done with my midterms, which I was so scared of, and what made me happier is doing well in all of them... After I finished my last test I went out, jumped and shouted " I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!", they were really hard times for me, I was very stressed out, I don't know why I always feel this when it comes to exams, though I do well in my assignments and projects, but exams are different to me, I feel like it's the end of the world if I didn't do well, apart of it is because of money, I actually really started feeling this in my final year of high school, it was like 12 years of working hard I can't not do well in it. I have always believed that our learning system is incorrect, how the student work hard for 12 years, and then after all of this it's all gone if you didn't do well in your final year.. I don't know.. But this has got to change, all the student and the parents are suffering from this wrong system. I went far away from my topic again! I don't know how this always happens to me :).
So, today is Friday, eid aldha.. I enjoyed it so far, I'm trying to forget everything about studies, and it's working! :)
I hope everybody is enjoying it too..:)

We were....

Once upon a time, Arabs were the greatest nation of all; They had everything, money, treasures, knowledge, power, everything can a nation ever need, they were "AlKa'ba" that the students will Pilgrim to to learn; The westerns, the greatest now, were drowning in illiteracy dark ocean, we were their torch of light; They never thought to fight us, because they knew for sure they would lose, if they even thought about it. So, instead of fighting us, they went through the smart way, they came to us, learn from our schools and universities, I can't say that we were stupid to let them come to learn, but I will say that we are stupid now; We didn't learn from what they did, we didn't go to their universities to learn, even the people who go to learn, they mostly will lose the way, and they will do everything they couldn't do in their countries, I'm an Arabic, and I'm leaving in this country where you can find whatever you want, and I know a lot of people who used to be good in their countries, but when they came here they started to drink, smoke, etc; I lost the way for a while, but 'alhamdulillah' I found it back again.

The point from all of this boring :) introduction, is aiming to tell all of us Arabs and non-Arabs, about what we are doing these days, how today is the inverse of yesterday's mirror, the image before was us on the top, they in the bottom, now vice verse, and what are we doing to change that? absolutely nothing! Isn't it ashamed of us to leave it like that? There are some even making it worse, they don't only let us in the same condition, but they are making us go from bad to worse; I wonder why are we fighting Israel? We have nothing to fight them with, we just fight and fight by words, that's all! Is it working? Are our brothers in Palestine safe now? NO! We all know that Israel has only a few universities, we can count maybe in one hand, BUT they are among the best universities in the world! Can anyone mention any Arabic university above the 2000 ranking universities in the world? I guess it's very hard to find one, if it's not impossible.
We are very weak to fight, so why don't we just make peace with them 'temporally' , but we make one condition in the agreement, to let a certain percentage of our students to join their universities, and in a very sensitive majors; We will see in a couple of years that we will have good graduates and in very sensitive majors, which will push us up a bit, batch after batch graduating from their universities, we will grow stronger and stronger, of course we will make a condition for those students to score high marks or else they will be back.

This is just a suggestion, I think it's one of the best ideas, even if it wasn't at least it's better than our conditions nowadays.=)

....

I put mp3 on my ears, and I started singing and doing some crazy movement, I listened to the hardest music I have, my voice went louder and louder, my housemate knocked my door to check if I'm alright, I told him to go away, I wasn't in the mood to talk with anyone, I just wanted to stay by my own, listen to this crazy music that I have never liked, doing those movements aimlessly, punching the walls; I don't ever do that unless I'm stressed to the maximum, I guess I was, I still am, after getting tired of all of this sh*t i lied down the sweat was going down like rain, I was really tired, but I felt much better; That all was couple of minutes ago, I'm still wiping my sweat, still breathing fast, my heart is still beating like crazy!

It's all because me being a lot behind in studying, I have always been this way, but I feel more responsibility now, I don't know why! I didn't get a thing out of this, but at least I feel better, I was stressed to the extent where I couldn't study any longer, now I'm alright again.. I hope I don't suffer from this for the rest of the semester. ya Allah please be by my side.

Loaded.

I have always been able to overcome the hardest things, I have never liked the easy challenges, I always used to create challenges for myself from nothing, so that I can be more motivated to do better work; It might be funny, if you know that sometimes I failed in easy challenges! :).
I don't know what was wrong, but I failed anyway.
Last semester, I registered easy subject to get a high GPA. I know I got a not-bad one, but I'm sure I could do better, I won't hide it, I was disappointed with myself; So, in a dark night, I decided to register a lot of subjects for this semester, I know why, because I hate losing, so I wanted to prove to myself that I'm still the clever Ala, who used to get the best marks.
Now, I'm here, the midterms are around the corner, I'm stuck between those heavy books, assignments, attending classes and Wushu training session.
Right now, I feel that I have loaded myself with more than my ability can handle, I feel defeated because I have never feel this, I still have some hope to do very well in this semester, but I just feel disappointed, I don't want to go to depression again! I know I can do it! I know I can! I just need to forget all about those feelings and start over, or else I will lose it all, I will prove to all that I'm the same Ala of the old golden days! I will be back!

Ordinary Words..

I didn't feel well that night, so I wrote this, I can't really call it a poem, it's just something I felt and I just drew it on the paper. That was long time ago, I didn't tell anyone about it, I have no idea about the reason why I did that, I wanted to publish it, but I lost the paper, where I wrote it on. And today, while I was looking for my glasses, which I found them on the fridge :), I accidentally found the paper. So, I want to publish it now, I hope you like it...

The warm voice is cold now
What's wrong?
Some words are missing, where is "my love"?
What's wrong?
It's like you are bored, it's like you are confused in love, is it?

Why when we meet we only let our eyes talking?
Is it forbidden to love? Or maybe it's forbidden to show it in a place with no respect for lovers?
I know they all know we are in love, why are we hiding it?
Let's just say it out loud, let's say "I love you!" the loudest we can.
Let them hear us! Let them burn in their jealousy!!

No! Don't give up! My soul feels so strange without you.
Please, stay by my side, and let's defeat the world!

I miss the glitter in your eyes, which I used to see when you see me.
But I know deep down inside you still love me.
I know it's just some dust the days covered your love by.
I want the warm voice back.
I'm so done with these ordinary words.
Let's fall in love again.
Let's drawn in love again.
I want you by my side.
Let's be us again.
I love you!

I know it may seem very far from an English proper poem, because it's actually not, it's just some feelings I want to take out of me.

Feeling weird..

Tonight, I'm feeling quite weird, maybe because I'm free a bit, it's Friday night, I gotta chill out, but I'm feeling weird to be free, I think it's because of being very busy for the last week, I had been attending classes from 9am to 6pm, after that I have to go to the Wushu training sessions for three hours, twice a week, and the rest of the week, I have been whether tired and lying on bed, or studying at the library. I didn't have time to blog of course, that's why you didn't see me this week, I didn't even have a lot of time to talk to my lover. Ah! I'm quite sad about not talking to her very much anymore, but we have to study to make a great and bright future for both of us, I know we can make it, I can see it in our eyes, I can see the motivation, the desire, and a lot of other feelings which I'm sure will keep on pushing us forward, to do our best for us. I still lover her like fire, like the first time I loved her, that has never changed, and I don't think it will change; Me being busy doesn't mean at all that I don't miss her or I don't think about her; I always think about her, when I'm at the lecture, which distracts me a bit, but then I think that I have to concentrate so that I do well for our future, which gives me the motivation to work harder. I feel like I'm not only working for me, but I'm working for us, I feel much more strength than before, I'm motivated, I know I can do well, for the sake of us; I love you.

This was Tomorrow, which scared you yesterday...

A sentence I have been thinking of, each single night, before I go to sleep this last week; It was my first week in my new semester, Sunday night was horrible, I couldn't really sleep, that happens to me each night before I start any new thing, I wonder why; I was flipping there on my bed for couple of hours, then I remembered this sentence, which I have heard long time ago, I thought that tomorrow at the same time, I will be laughing at myself now, because it's nothing deserve to be worried about; It helps a bit, it really did help; Then on the next night, I was laughing at myself, but, I was worried about the second day as well, but of course not that much, then this sentence made me calm again; Now, here I am after one week of university, everything is okay, I did great;
I truly realized that no need to worry about the future, because it won't change a thing about it, you are only killing yourself by those bad feelings, and the future will still be the same, so guys, just chill out, the future won't change, just do what you have to do, and leave the rest to God to :)help you :).